Ralk with me

Last Saturday, I woke up inspired to try to get some exercise...  

Those beautiful summer days are fleeting and we must embrace them as best we can!  (True New Englander talking here!)  

"I'll go for a run!"  I thought for a split second...  That sounded like a super plan, except for one small, little, tiny detail... I don't run... Well - let's not be so black and white - I mean, if I were in Barcelona for the Running of the Bulls or if I saw Sting waiting to catch a train, I mean - I would run.  And I would run fast.

But the regular just "create some sense of urgency and run for the sake of running" thing is not for me...

So "I'll go for a walk" came to mind. I mean, I walk - heck I've walked the 3-day Avon Breast Cancer walk twice - that's 3 days of walking, that's 60 miles of trekking, twice, but somehow I didn't think I'd get the workout that I wanted...

So I told my son - "let's go for a run, or a walk, I mean, a run, or a ralk"

He said "Mom you said a ralk". And it took my little guy to help me notice what I had said.  And it was PERFECT! "YES that's it, let's RALK!!!"

You want to Ralk with me Douglas? He said SURE!!!

So off we went, me pushing the double stroller with both kiddos, music in one ear, and somehow my walk was more fun when I called it a Ralk - a little pep in my step, a little run in my walk, and a little ralking and rolling. 

 A little sweat, a lot of fresh air, and I was one happy camper. 

I wish you lots of ralking and rolling this summer. Enjoy the beautiful scenery and a moment of Zen here and there.  Be good to yourself because, let's face it - You ralk!

Capturing that split second where freak out can turn into chill out

I follow a wonderful woman Vidette Vanderweide who is building a community of moms who want to live a zenful life! She's great. Down to earth, fun, and totally in touch with the struggles we face and the wonders we can embrace.

In this video she talks about a flash moment that I have studied and thought about and continue to work on my mind over matter 'ness on. It's that flash moment you think you will lose it because your kids are just NOT listening and you think you might explode.  It happens a lot when I get home from work. For some reason there is a 20 minute period where things go crazy before normal (whatever that is) is somewhat restored. 

I call this going from ego to eggo - serious to light and fluffy :)
Whatever IT is, she captures that split second in this video and it's brilliant! 

Thank you Vidette :) 

youtube.com/watch?v=M2v3Sv9s3v4

I just hit print - my little book is on its way!

It was in my heart and poured out of me one day on a fall Sunday afternoon. My kids were in the backyard with my husband and I was watching from the kitchen window, feeling the Sunday blues settle in. Not because I don't love my job, but because I love my kids too and on Sundays, I start to  miss them eventhough I'm staring right at them...

How can you miss someone who is right in front of you? I do. Somehow, I do.

So I abandonned my station at the sink and ran over to an old notebook.  There it was - an outpouring, in pencil, just scribbled on random pages in the back. And poof - there was born a skeleton of a story that for me was a way for me to rationalize and work through my mommy guilt...  A way for me to convey to my children how much I love them, and that I never stop loving them, even when I'm not with them.

That was in November 2012...Well a year and a half later, many little hours here and hours there (mostly in the middle of the night), my little book has taken shape! I hit print tonight. I ordered a small batch and am excited to give it to my children and release it to the world! If it can help one more mommy then it's a success!

It's titled "while mommy's at work", if you hadn't guessed :)

I'll let you know when it's ready.

In the meantime, take care of yourselves super mamas!
  

Can you lean in and be present to your kids?

My youngest is going to be 3...when I was 6 months pregnant with him, I accepted a new job... Now that's what I call leaning in!! I was going to manage people for the first time. I was a department head. I wasn't a CEO or a big exec but this was a big deal for me! But man if I were leaning through a "career window"  I would have fallen out of it!!! I don't remember the first two years of my son's life... Apart from the zillion pictures I hurriedly snapped every weekend to, almost in a desperate haze, record my life for later review... It flew by. Each night I logged onto my office computer trying to please everyone at work and fix a broken department that I had inherited... Each day I left before my kids woke up so that I could get to daycare at a reasonable time. Each night I'd get home and both boys would have the "20 minute meltdown" almost to tell me "what the heck mom?!?!?!?".
It was hard. Emotionally, physically and mentally.

Can we lean in and be present to children? Can those things coexist? Or is it like a see-saw with mommy on one side, and corporate tycoon on the other?  My gut tells me it's a see-saw... My gut, my head, my heart, and my burnt-out self tell me it's TOTALLY a see-saw because I think I'm trying to keep both sides up and it's wearing me down... 
Maybe it's about trying to find that happy place where both versions of yourself get to happily float, softly bounce, and allow each other to ebb and flow. Maybe it's about ensuring your see- saw doesn't turn into a slingshot!