Eggo wins today.

I did it. 

I mustered the courage to leave my leadership role.  I left the job that made me so happy in one area of my life but left me longing in another. I spoke up at the risk of being rejected, of being tossed aside. I spoke up although I was scared of the financial reality of leaving my job.   

I didn't quit. I reshuffled. I decided to think in 6 month increments while I take a lifetime view of things... 

I gave up 50 percent of my salary for 100 percent of my sanity.

I am on a new journey.

It's day 4. I will work 20 hours a week in an industry I love (real estate), but I will spend the other 80 hours  a week in a life I love (home with my family).

I won't be in the thick of it at work. I won't be on any fast track, and that was hard for me to calibrate in my head. There will be financial concessions too. 

I have called this the power struggle between Ego and Eggo....

Ladies maybe we can't have it all today, but I believe we sure can over the course of a lifetime.

Let's not feel like we have to check every box every moment of every day.

The reality is, we will need to hit the gas, or the brake or just coast in career at various points of our lives, for money, for ego, for the love of what we do, for a title, for a baby, a toddler, a teenager, a parent or spouse or OURSELVES.

It's all ok. All of it.

I first had to forgive myself for not being able to be all things to all people. Then I needed to assess who I needed to be to those who need me the most.

Then I swapped my blazer in for my yoga pants.

Eggo wins today. And that's ok.

Sanity and meatloaf

Some days you just need to go easy on yourself. Those days when one munchkin is on antibiotics, and the second is a week or so behind, both with sniffly noses.

It's not the day for "eat your veggies", it's the day for "want ice cream for dinner?"

I went into the day with both boys whining and bickering. They were feeling icky all over and that makes them slightly irritable... Their voices go up a few octaves, the piercing whine occurring at about 8 minute intervals for reasons like one took the spot the other wanted on the sofa or the other looked at him crooked. I get it. I know it's not easy to be sick.

I looked at my husband and I said  " I have two goals for today, 1) sanity, and 2) meatloaf, in that order."

(You know, you can't ignore those 2 pounds of organic beef in the fridge that NEED to be cooked, but sanity is critical...)

Setting ultra low expectations and ignoring the pounds of laundry that had piled up over the week and the gazillion toys that needed to be put away allowed me to muster the energy to avoid the screeches and ensure the smoothest day for all of us!

Two trips to the park, one Halloween Curious George movie, one hour of raking and jumping in leaf piles, one hour of painting toy trucks, two mega spinach & banana shakes, 4 Popsicles, lots of crackers, one visit with an old friend and yes some time in the kitchen later, I had survived the day.  I maintained my sanity AND made a delicious meatloaf the kids actually ate. (Thank you ketchup and Parmesan cheese)

I feel good.  They have gone 11 minutes without a fight. They are in their pj's. They have had their cough medicines, their bellies are full... Maybe I'll sneak in one more Curious George. Just one more.
Ahhh....
The next two goals are 1) laundry, and 2) a glass of wine... Ok, maybe not in that order...