What is "Balance" anyways??? and why don't I have it? Maybe a little bird can tell me... or 4...

What is "Balance" anyways??? and why don't I have it?  Maybe a little bird can tell me...

Is it that place where you get it all done and still have time to get your eyebrows done?
Or where you have time to shave BOTH legs in the morning?
Where you aren't yelling at your kids to get in the car?
Where you are fulfilled in work but are not owned by it?
Where you feel on your game because you got veggies into your kids?
Where you got your holiday cards done and you can still get 8 hours of sleep?

It has been YEARS. I've tried to find balance, be balanced, have work/life balance. It's exhausting! In this unending hunt to find this nebulous concept of "balance", something hit me recently - maybe I'm looking outside for the answer (the organizational tool, the notebook, the lists, the tips, the app). Maybe I need to look on the inside... MAYBE, just MAYBE it means striking harmony between Body, Mind, Soul and Heart...

And like that, this weekend, I told my husband he needed to make dinner because I was running to a craft store. (Thanks sweetie, that was mean Chicken/Broc/Ziti!!)

I created my balance birds!!! 4 birds and a bird bath.

My Balance Birds

My Body Bird - (Blue) Have I been good to my body? Have I eaten well? Exercised? Slept enough?
My Mind Bird - ( Brown) Did I do a great job on a project? Help a colleague? Feel good about accomplishments? Going in a direction I want?
My Heart Bird - (Red) My relationships... With my kids, my spouse, my family, and friends. Am  I cultivating relationships? Am I telling people I love them? Am I present to my children and handling those stressful situations with grace?

My Heart Bird

My Soul Bird - (Yellow) Am I doing things that feed my soul? Blogging, taking a road trip with my kids, supporting a cause that is dear to me, checking in with an old friend...

I will see how I do. Every night, before I go to bed, I take a minute to reflect on each area of my life. I look at my birds and feed those that I feel I nourished throughout the day.

Let's see which bird takes flight. Hopefully balance means they take flight together.

If you think balance birds might help you, let your creative juices flow and go with it - and report back!! I'm happy to help as well!

In the mean time, be well Super Mamas!
xo

Tip #2: Grab this at bedtime - you won't be sorry!

YES. They are already wayyy behind bed time and I want to say "GO.TO.BED!!!" but in that last minute, once they are snuggled and finally ready to rest, I realize that something happens...  A moment presents itself, my kids open up. They are ready to share, chat, and be in the moment with me. And I have a choice. I can rush and run out and go tend to my list of things to do, or I can stop.

Stop rushing. Stop going. Stop thinking.

Be still.

It's right there in front of me - one of life's sweetest gifts - a heart to heart with my kiddo.

No matter how small the moment - grab it.  

"I wish I was 6..."
"Why isn't 5 pretty cool?"
"Yeah... I get to be the boss of my little brother..."
 "Yes, I'm not sure how long that will last... "

Because maybe in those little moments, we are planting seeds... Maybe those little moments grow into bigger moments when our kids are in their teens.  Maybe this is one way of telling our kids they can say whatever they need to say even if it's not on our schedule...

Maybe these few minutes are in fact some of the most important in my whole day...

Let me know what sweet moments you stumble on right before your kiddos go to sleep.

In the mean time, be well super mamas! And please send me your parenting epiphanies!!!
xoL

Parenting tip #1: Leave it to Mr. Frog

Please Note: I am NO parenting expert. I'm just trying to shape my little munchkins into healthy, happy, good human beings without losing my noodles... 
I am going to share three tips that help me each day!

These work for my kids aged 3 and 5... Not sure how long they will work for, but I'm going to milk them for as long as I can!! 

Tip #1: Leave it to Mr. Frog

Ex: I want my son to brush his teeth. He won't. I repeat it, I get kind of hung up on the fact that he isn't listening. I start talking louder. The quantity and volume of words are increasing by the second, and the results? ZERO. ZIPPO. NADA.

At that point, I look at his bed and see Mr. Frog. He's giving me this pitying look saying "You poor thing.. Let me show you how this is done."

So I do.

I pick up Mr. Frog and let him take over.  "Greg, don't you want to have pearly white teeth?" Suddenly, Greg is in a trance!  "Yes" he says. "So why are you giving your mom a hard time? Come on, let's go brush together" and off they go, Mr. Frog and Greg getting those teeth pearly white!! 

Mr. Frog did it again. He rocks. And I'm ok with that.

Give it a try - I'd LOVE to hear about how this works for you!!!
And pls share your tips!

I'll be back soon with Tip #2!

In the mean time, be well super mamas!

Thank you humanKIND!

A colleague and friend of mine emailed a group of us and asked "what are you thankful for?"

I had trouble writing my email back. I just teared up and was flooded with all sorts of feelings!!

Just two years ago, the kids at Sandy Hook were taken away. Like 9/11, that tragedy really shook me up and tuned me into a vibration where I live a little more sad and a little more scared... Sad as a mom, and scared of the unknown and the unexpected...  Daily, we hear heart wrenching news... and sometimes it gets to be quite heavy and quite a lot to process... Just this week, how many moms and dads are totally trying to piece together enough strength to survive the next 5 minutes in Pakistan...  

All those feelings make me cherish the little things...  I'm thankful for the moment my little ones give me a hug in the morning. I'm thankful for the moment I hand my husband his coffee to take along in the car. I'm thankful for the call to my family while I'm driving to the post office, for the hot tea I can drink while I work or the text message from an old friend. I'm thankful for all those little, tiny, simple but precious moments...

But what makes me feel truly better is when I take a minute to think about the GOOD I see in the world!  When I do get overwhelmed, I can quickly think of organizations, people, small and large businesses that each, in their own way, mobilize behind a cause or a person or an issue.  Together we make big differences and even the smallest act can affect big change.  So the spirit of giving keeps me hopeful and thankful...  So thank you ALL good peeps out there. Thank you for being soldiers of hope and joy.  Thank you for staying strong.  Thank you for even the smallest act of kindness.  Thank you for being humankind.

I wish you peace, love and joy this holiday season.

May your life be a long string of little (and big) precious moments. And may we appreciate, find hope, and relish in the sweetness of the small things, because in the end, they aren't small afterall... 
 
Happy Holidays,
xo
Lori

Eggo wins today.

I did it. 

I mustered the courage to leave my leadership role.  I left the job that made me so happy in one area of my life but left me longing in another. I spoke up at the risk of being rejected, of being tossed aside. I spoke up although I was scared of the financial reality of leaving my job.   

I didn't quit. I reshuffled. I decided to think in 6 month increments while I take a lifetime view of things... 

I gave up 50 percent of my salary for 100 percent of my sanity.

I am on a new journey.

It's day 4. I will work 20 hours a week in an industry I love (real estate), but I will spend the other 80 hours  a week in a life I love (home with my family).

I won't be in the thick of it at work. I won't be on any fast track, and that was hard for me to calibrate in my head. There will be financial concessions too. 

I have called this the power struggle between Ego and Eggo....

Ladies maybe we can't have it all today, but I believe we sure can over the course of a lifetime.

Let's not feel like we have to check every box every moment of every day.

The reality is, we will need to hit the gas, or the brake or just coast in career at various points of our lives, for money, for ego, for the love of what we do, for a title, for a baby, a toddler, a teenager, a parent or spouse or OURSELVES.

It's all ok. All of it.

I first had to forgive myself for not being able to be all things to all people. Then I needed to assess who I needed to be to those who need me the most.

Then I swapped my blazer in for my yoga pants.

Eggo wins today. And that's ok.

Sanity and meatloaf

Some days you just need to go easy on yourself. Those days when one munchkin is on antibiotics, and the second is a week or so behind, both with sniffly noses.

It's not the day for "eat your veggies", it's the day for "want ice cream for dinner?"

I went into the day with both boys whining and bickering. They were feeling icky all over and that makes them slightly irritable... Their voices go up a few octaves, the piercing whine occurring at about 8 minute intervals for reasons like one took the spot the other wanted on the sofa or the other looked at him crooked. I get it. I know it's not easy to be sick.

I looked at my husband and I said  " I have two goals for today, 1) sanity, and 2) meatloaf, in that order."

(You know, you can't ignore those 2 pounds of organic beef in the fridge that NEED to be cooked, but sanity is critical...)

Setting ultra low expectations and ignoring the pounds of laundry that had piled up over the week and the gazillion toys that needed to be put away allowed me to muster the energy to avoid the screeches and ensure the smoothest day for all of us!

Two trips to the park, one Halloween Curious George movie, one hour of raking and jumping in leaf piles, one hour of painting toy trucks, two mega spinach & banana shakes, 4 Popsicles, lots of crackers, one visit with an old friend and yes some time in the kitchen later, I had survived the day.  I maintained my sanity AND made a delicious meatloaf the kids actually ate. (Thank you ketchup and Parmesan cheese)

I feel good.  They have gone 11 minutes without a fight. They are in their pj's. They have had their cough medicines, their bellies are full... Maybe I'll sneak in one more Curious George. Just one more.
Ahhh....
The next two goals are 1) laundry, and 2) a glass of wine... Ok, maybe not in that order...

Hug-in-a-box

I did it! I made my hug-in-a-box lunches for my little guys! I've made lunches two days in a row, and my time has already improved by half! (That may be because it took me about one hour the first time... But who's counting?!)

Day 1 was a breeze. Both smiling, and posing for the camera!!  My 4.999 year old was happy as a clam... My 3.001 year old was so proud of himself stating "mommy, I didn't cry, I'm a big boy"...

Course, I felt the need to tell him that big boys cry too sometimes, and that it is ok to cry, but that I was very proud of the strength he showed.

Today was Day 2... Eldest hops out of bed and is ready to go! My little one looked surprised! Wait, school again? But I already went to school... I go again?  Poor kid... So, today,  he cried.... A lot... It made me so sad...

After hugging him and trying to show him mr. Potato head, and admiring his art work from his first day, bringing him his lovey, talking to his teacher, trying to make him laugh, giving him one uber long hug, then another, I needed to leave for work... 

My husband, suspecting drop off would be tougher today, drove by the play-school on his way to work and saw my car parked outside... He stopped and texted me... "I'm outside if you need me".

When I walked out, it was so nice to see him, waiting in the car - my very own hug-in-a-box.

Hang in there sweet mamas! Wishing you tear free drop offs, all around.
Xox