My youngest is going to be 3...when I was 6 months pregnant with him, I accepted a new job... Now that's what I call leaning in!! I was going to manage people for the first time. I was a department head. I wasn't a CEO or a big exec but this was a big deal for me! But man if I were leaning through a "career window" I would have fallen out of it!!! I don't remember the first two years of my son's life... Apart from the zillion pictures I hurriedly snapped every weekend to, almost in a desperate haze, record my life for later review... It flew by. Each night I logged onto my office computer trying to please everyone at work and fix a broken department that I had inherited... Each day I left before my kids woke up so that I could get to daycare at a reasonable time. Each night I'd get home and both boys would have the "20 minute meltdown" almost to tell me "what the heck mom?!?!?!?".
It was hard. Emotionally, physically and mentally.
Can we lean in and be present to children? Can those things coexist? Or is it like a see-saw with mommy on one side, and corporate tycoon on the other? My gut tells me it's a see-saw... My gut, my head, my heart, and my burnt-out self tell me it's TOTALLY a see-saw because I think I'm trying to keep both sides up and it's wearing me down...
Maybe it's about trying to find that happy place where both versions of yourself get to happily float, softly bounce, and allow each other to ebb and flow. Maybe it's about ensuring your see- saw doesn't turn into a slingshot!
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